OCD and Praying.

Whenever I share with someone that I have OCD, I usually get asked what are some of the rituals I do. Without fail, I always blank out. I can’t even think of one!!! Then later on when I’m alone they all come rushing in. Most of my rituals are “mental rituals”. What does this mean? … More OCD and Praying.

The Cloud.

This cloud of sadness is an empty feeling that keeps the what-ifs alive. This cloud is filled with a ‘sense’ of going nowhere. It’s a cloud where all my guilt from my trauma lives. The guilt that makes me feel that I’m probably not destined for happiness. Probably not destined for the marriage and children … More The Cloud.

My Thoughts.

Writing this blog has been challenging me to try and break out of my fears of the stigma that can possibly come from you; my readers. I struggle with worrying if I said the right thing. What are they going to think about me? I have family and friends who are reading this, what if they change their views … More My Thoughts.

Medication.

I thought I would share my experience with psychiatric medications. I had been in and out talk therapy for about 5 years before I finally decided to try psychiatric medications. The stigma I had for myself for even thinking of trying medication was a struggle. One thing I will start off by saying is, I … More Medication.

Younger Self.

I have a little “ME” in me. She’s a younger version. A younger me. She comes out in so many different ways and different times – for various reasons. This “younger inner child” concept is very hard for me to understand. This is something that has come up in therapy for a while but I’ve … More Younger Self.

Butterfly Hug.

This is another strategy I have learned in therapy. The strategies I’ve learned, I often use them together. For example, as I do the Grounding. exercise, I do this butterfly hug. To do the butterfly hug I start by crossing my hands on my chest as I’m about to hug myself. (They say to have … More Butterfly Hug.

Grounding.

I want to share a strategy I’ve learned through therapy. This has helped me during times of anxiety and disassociation. The following exercise is considered a ‘grounding‘ exercise. The purpose is to tell my brain and my body where we are and that we are safe. My therapist says it’s a mindfulness strategy. I use … More Grounding.

Disassociation.

“Another definition, presented by Steinberg and Schnall (2001), defines dissociation as “an adaptive defense in response to high stress or trauma characterized by memory loss and a sense of disconnection from oneself or one’s surroundings.” Pollock, B. L. A. (2015, April 29). The Brain in Defense Mode: How Dissociation Helps Us Survive. Retrieved August 6, … More Disassociation.

Deep Cleaned.

I deep cleaned my fridge the other night. It was 10:30 pm and it started with wanting to clear out the leftover foods. Then I realized the entire fridge wasn’t organized. There was no rhyme or reason to the items in there. I started organizing it in a way that “makes sense”. Then I noticed … More Deep Cleaned.

Diagnoses.

All of these diagnoses connect. One is there because of the other. My PTSD consists of triggers. My triggers affect my Anxiety. My Anxiety will then trigger my OCD. This will repeat until it’s so exhausting and something happens that I can’t handle and BAM! Depression has joined the party.    I remember speaking with my … More Diagnoses.